The Revenant
by bean-of-nerves
Summary: Helbram wakes up in an unfamiliar place with a stranger who claims to be his master, and he has no idea how he ended up there. Little by little, he tries to adapt to his new life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

I just wanted to write something about Helbram during his time with the Holy Knights. It was supposed to be a single chapter but then things got out of hand, so there will probably be two more chapters and it's all Helbram's fault.

Enjoy!

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

Helbram wakes up slowly and painfully, feeling his entire body aching and burning, his mind a storm of pain and blurred images. His chest seems to hurt the worst, as if someone has dug a hole in it, tearing up the flash and crashing the ribs just to reach his heart and tear it off. But when he tries to scream, no sound leaves his lips, and he can only grit his teeth and hope that the pain will end soon.

It does. It starts to vanish, little by little until is reduced to a little hotbed in his chest. It becomes easier to breathe, and after some moments he is finally able to open his eyes. At first, his vision is blurred and confused, and he has to blink a few times to clearly see what's around him. He is lying on his back, he notices, resting on the hard and cold stone, separated from the ground only by a thin piece of cloth that is rough and stinging under his fingers. Over him, a ceiling of irregular rock.

Where is he? He doesn't remember this place, he has never seen it. Slowly, his mind still a bit addled, Helbram raises his head, leaning on his elbows, and looks around. He sees him immediately.

He is standing next to him, his head slightly lowered and his hands raised to hold up a heavy, old book. His piercing blue eyes are fixed on Helbram, scrutinizing him with such intensity that for a moment Helbram can only look back at him, confused. He has no idea who this man is and why he is here, with him. Then he realizes that he is a human.

Helbram is almost surprised by the hate and the rage that burn abruptly in his chest and for a moment he doesn't even understand his sudden desire to tear apart that man, making him scream and beg until his words will be suffocated by his own blood. But a second is enough to remember everything human has done to him and to hear again the screams of his friends, to see their mutilated bodies on the ground and Harlequin bleeding and falling from that cliff, and so Helbram raises his hand, wanting to kill, to kill that man, to kill all humans until the screams will stop.

But he can't. He is suddenly aware of his lack of strength and magic, and even keeping his arm lifted is tiring and painful. He probably wouldn't be able even to stand up, much less using his magic.

When he glances at the man he sees him staring, a brow raised. "I would take it easy if I were you," he says calmly. He is not scared, he is not even worried, and Helbram hates that, and more than this he hates the fact that the man has all the rights not to be worried because now Helbram is so tired and sore that he wouldn't be a menace to anyone.

"So, I'll say it worked," the man continues, lowering his hands and closing the book. "You can move, I see. Do you understand me?"

What Helbram doesn't really understand it's what's going on, and that bothers him, such as the fact that it seems that he really has to speak with this human to figure it out. So he tries, but his throat is dry and it's difficult to let his voice out. When he finally manages to speak, his voice is weak and raspy and pathetic. "Who are you? Where am I?"

The man nods, not to Helbram but to himself, evidently satisfied. "Good, you can speak. That's an improvement."

Helbram grits his teeth with irritation, then he shouts or at least tries to, "What is happening? Who are you?"

"Right, that must be confusing to you. I'm Hendrickson. I'm your master now."

For a moment Helbram can't breathe and just stares at this man, this Hendrickson, with wide eyes, trying to make sense of his words. "My master?!" He finally hisses, shaking of indignation. "No one is my master, surely not a human!"

"It's not a decision you have, Fairy. I resurrected you, therefore I'm your master," he answers shrugging, indifferent to Helbram's rage.

It takes a moment to Helbram to really register what he said. "You did what?"

"I resurrected you. You were dead, don't you remember?"

He doesn't. Helbram shakes his head and closes his eyes, trying not to panic. The human is lying, of course. Humans always lie. Besides, he can't be dead, he doesn't remember being dead. All he can recall are images of villages on fires and humans screaming and dying by his own hand. "That's a lie," he says, trying to make his voice sound certain and strong. "I'm alive."

"Of course you are alive, now. As I said, I brought you back to life, but not an hour ago you were no more than a dead body." Hendrickson's voice is convinced and calm, maybe just a bit annoyed. His eyes are still fixed on Helbram's, firm and cold, without a doubt. He is not lying, Helbram realizes with horror, he is really convinced of what he's saying.

"How could I be dead?" He asks, incredulous. "I don't remember dying. I ... I don't ..."

"It's probably a consequence of the spell," Hendrickson murmurs. "If you want to know, I think you were killed. There was a hole on your chest when I bought you – of course, I closed it before reviving you – a very little and narrow hole that went through your entire thorax and perforated your heart." He shrugs, almost disinterested. "It was probably caused by some magical attack."

Helbram can't help but touch his chest, burying his fingers in the soft fabric of the clothes he is wearing. There is still some sparks of pain when he brushes his fingers against his skin, and he remembers clearly the terrible ache he felt before. Could it be for real? Is he truly dead?

"How?" He breaths, and suddenly he wants to know who did this to him. A human, maybe? That would be painfully ironic.

"I have no idea. Frankly, I don't even know when it happened. I just bought your body, and as far as I heard, you are on the market for quite a long time."

Helbram remains still, trying to process that information, but it's just too unreal. How can he cope with the fact that he died who knows how long and that now he has been resurrected by a human?

He tilts his head and stares at Hendrickson, who is still silently looking at him. "Why did you bring me back?" He asks, trying not to think about all the rest and focusing on the human next to him. Helbram knows humans, probably better than any other Fairy. He passed so much time observing them, admiring them, without ever understanding their true wicked nature until it was too late. No, this man didn't resurrect him because of his good heart. He wants something from him, but what?

Hendrickson's eyes sparkle with interest, while his thin lips curve into a conscious little smile. "There is something I want to do and for that, I need persons who will follow my orders no matter what. You are one of them."

"I won't take orders from any human!" Helbram growls, pushing on his elbow to raise, but his legs are still weak and he can only manage to sit down. Nevertheless, he glares at Hendrickson, his eyes burning with rage. "I hate humans! I will never help one of them!"

Hendrickson doesn't seem to get angry or even bother. He just bends over so that his face is closer to Helbram's, that annoying smile still on his lips. "So you hate human?" He asks, and he looks almost amused by this idea. "Then I guess you'll find this interesting. I suppose you know that thousands of years ago, after a terrible war, the Demon Clan had been sealed away." He pauses, looking into Helbram's eyes. "I want to release the Demons."

For a moment, Helbram just stares at him. That's no sense, really. Free the Demon Clan? Who could be so foolish just to think something like that? But Hendrickson is serious, his eyes hard and certain, and Helbram realizes that he really want to do this.

"Are you insane?" He breathes. "Releasing the Demons? After all they have done? That would be a massacre!"

"Exactly," Hendrickson answers calmly. "Apparently, an only demon, even a weak one, was enough to burn to the ground the Fairy King's Forest. I can hardly imagine what a high-ranking Demon could do ..."

But Helbram has stopped listening to him, his eyes wide and his head spinning. "What happened to the Forest?"

Hendrickson raises an eyebrow and scrutinizes him. "You didn't know," he murmurs, but again, it looks like he is talking to himself more than to Helbram. "The Fairy King's Forest was attacked more than ten years ago. No one knows exactly what happened, but it totally burnt and doesn't seem that there are survivors." His voice is flat, as he is unaffected by what he's saying. "In the remains of the Forest, we found the corpse of a Demon, so I suppose it was the one who destroyed the place."

Helbram feels dumb and empty as his breath becomes irregular and almost painful. He runs his fingers in his hairs, his eyes now fixed on the ground. That makes no sense. The Forest, his home, can't have been burnt, the Fairies, his people, can't be all dead, that's not possible, not when he can so well picturing the high, green trees and the plants twisting on their trunks, the wind moving their fronds and the laughs of his friends everywhere around him. It just can't be.

"I see that this information has upset you," Hendrickson acknowledges slowly. "Anyway, I'd like you to give me an answer. Actually, you don't really have a choice. You will help me release the Demon Clan, willing or not, I just think that would be easier for both of us if you will cooperate."

He pauses a second and maybe he wants Helbram to answer, but he can't. He has barely listened to what the human has said, merely registering his words. His thoughts are all for the Forest. He sees it burns until only the ashes remain, he sees the dark smoke rising in the sky, and he can almost hear the screams of the Fairies and smell the stink of burning flesh.

"You can think about it, of course. I'll come back in a few hours, but don't try to leave this place, you won't succeed." Hendrickson finally says, and Helbram nods weakly because that means that the human will leave him alone and at this moment there is nothing he wants more.

"I hope you will make the right choice," are the last words Helbram hears before Hendrickson walks away, the sound of his steps soon vanishing. He is alone now, alone with his thoughts.

His strengths start to return in the following hours, little by little. After some time, Helbram is finally able to stand up and even to walk a little in the cave without feeling like he is about to fall. His magic is returning too, but slower, to the point that even floating is hard and tiring. The cave is enormous, wide and dark and cold and the only light source is a little lantern that Hendrickson left on the ground. Helbram leaves it here where it is and never goes too far. He's not interested in exploring the surroundings.

He thinks for a long time. First about the Forest, and he can finally cry over his home and his friends, feeling that loss like another hole in his chest. They are all gone, now, and he couldn't protect them, exactly as he couldn't protect the friends who followed him in the human world centuries ago – like he couldn't protect Harlequin, letting him die right in front of his eyes. Now he regrets never returning home, not once, during the five centuries he passed getting revenge. It's been so long since he saw for the last time the Sacred Tree and breathed in the embracing scent of the Forest. But how he could return after he had caused the death of so many Fairies? How he could go back when he was responsible for the death of the Fairy King himself? He couldn't do that. He couldn't face Elaine. And now she is dead too.

He mourns for his loss for hours, until he has no more tears, and only then, when it's almost nauseating to keep thinking about his home, his thoughts go to Hendrickson. The man is insane, that's obvious. Releasing the Demon Clan is a folly, a dangerous and destructive folly. But who is Helbram to judge? He passed centuries massacring humans, men, women, and children, to stop that unbearable sound of tearing wings. Besides, he thinks, there is nothing in this world he cares about anymore. His best friend died long ago, and now his home is destroyed and his people are gone. Even if Hendrickson will succeed, the only ones who will suffer will be the humans. And Helbram realizes that this would be really enjoyable. He will have his revenge complete, like this. He will be finally free.

So when Hendrickson returns to the cave, a torch in his hand and his eyes cold and demanding, he has an answer. And hearing it, Hendrickson smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2_**

"An old acquaintance, hum?"

Dreyfus' violet eyes study Helbram for a long moment before he shifts his gaze to Hendrickson, clearly unconvinced. "Where did you say he comes from?"

"Camelot," Hendrickson answers calmly. He is standing next to Helbram, his hands folded behind his back; he doesn't look worried at all and he stares right back at the other Knight. "You know, that small Kingdom that-"

"I know what Camelot is, Hendrickson," Dreyfus interrupts with a gesture of annoyance. "What I would like to know is why a Knight from Camelot should join our army."

Hendrickson presses his lips together, and for the first time, he looks a bit irritated. Helbram is not. Actually, seeing those two people, those two Great Holy Knight, arguing about him it's strangely funny. Those humans. They didn't change even a little bit.

The little smile that had formed on his lips disappears when Hendrickson glances coldly at him, and so Helbram rolls his eyes and he steps forward, ready to start the play Hendrickson and he hatched up to explain Helbram's presence between the Holy Knights.

When Dreyfus' gaze shifts on him, cold and harsh, Helbram feels a shiver up and down his spine, making him uncomfortable. He dealt with a lot of humans in his life, but this man has something in him … something that Helbram can't explain, but that disturbs him. But he needs just a moment to recover, and then he is smiling charmingly at him and taking a little bow in Dreyfus' direction. He can almost feel Hendrickson's eyes burning on his back when he does that, they didn't discuss it and he probably thinks that it's exaggerated. Helbram doesn't care. That's his show, after all.

"Sir Dreyfus," he starts, finally meeting his eyes, "I didn't want to cause so much trouble, I assure you. As my old friend said, I came from Camelot and, as you probably already know, it's not a very … powerful Kingdom. I came here, in the great Kingdom of Liones, looking for a grater propose to serve, and I would be glad to join an army led by so extraordinarily powerful persons like you and Sir Hendrickson."

Helbram falls silent, still smiling, even though he hates being forced to speak like this to a human, humiliating himself like he has no dignity. But Hendrickson was clear about this. Dreyfus is still the other Great Holy Knight of Liones, and they have to deal with that since Hendrickson doesn't seem willing to just kill him and get it over with. When Helbram proposed it, he didn't react well – it was the first time that Helbram has seen him really angry. For some reason, he doesn't want to hurt Dreyfus. Well, that's not Helbram's problem, he has done his duty.

Helbram is not sure how long Dreyfus scrutinizes him, his mouth set in a hard line and his eyes fixed on him, piercing to the point that if it weren't impossible Helbram would have sworn that he was looking directly at his true form, now hidden under Aldrich's features.

But then he sighs and looks away, his eyes again on Hendrickson. "Fine, he can stay. But If he doesn't behave as a Holy Knight I-"

"He will act perfectly," Hendrickson says sharply. "Now come, Helbram. I'll explain to you a few things about your role here." He turns and Helbram nods, ready to follow him.

"Hendrickson, wait."

They both look at Dreyfus, who, for the first time, seems uncertain. He doesn't even glance at Helbram, his gaze on Hendrickson, as he speaks. "I … I didn't know you had friends in Camelot. I was just surprised."

Hendrickson doesn't flinch. He stands still for a moment, his face hard and cold as always. "There is much you don't know about me," he finally says, then he turns and leaves the room without looking back.

Helbram follows him, but not before he has glanced at Dreyfus. The man is still standing in the center of the room, his eyes still following Hendrickson, and there is something in them – sorrow? Confusion? Helbram is not sure about it. What it's for sure – and really, really interesting – is that the relationship between the two Great Holy Knights is even more complicated than he thought. And that, Helbram is certain about it, would be a problem.

* * *

After their encounter with Dreyfus, integrate with the Holy Knights is surprisingly easy. The other Knights don't even discuss, accepting him among them without a word.

At first, Helbram detests being a Holy Knight, mostly because he has to be always surrounded by humans. The arrogant, selfish Knights and the stupid crowd of people of Liones seem to be everywhere, encircling him and making him crazy. He hates them and he would like so much to just kill them all, getting a little closer to the accomplishment of his revenge. Unfortunately, Hendrickson has been clear. He won't allow him to commit a massacre before time.

Furthermore, Helbram real job frequently leads him far from humans. He has no idea how Hendrickson discovered about the Coffin of Eternal Darkness and the ritual to release the Demons from the seal, but he has clearly thought about his plan for a long time. Now his purpose is to find the pieces that compose the relic, and apparently, this is what Helbram has to do, searching for information, leaving Liones and recovering the fragments when Hendrickson can't do it on his own. Initially, Helbram is skeptical. He has never heard about this Coffin of Eternal Darkness – what a pompous and silly name – and besides, apparently it has been destroyed thousands of years ago. It would be foolish to hope to find the pieces.

But the more he searches, the more Hendrickson tells him about his studies, the more Helbram starts to convince himself that Hendrickson could be right and that his plan is not totally insane. Actually, it could work. And even though Helbram is still sure that Hendrickson is crazy, he can't deny that he is not stupid. On the contrary, he is cunning and attentive, it is clear from the way he succeeds in fooling Dreyfus, gaining more and more power, and by the way he can gather new followers and convince them to submit to dangerous experiments. Some of them die. Others gain power that they couldn't even imagine, and they start to be called the New Generation.

And none of the Knights, neither the ones who are loyal to Hendrickson nor the ones who follow Dreyfus, seems to suspect what one of their Great Holy Knight is planning. And that thrills Helbram in a dark and funny way.

As the days pass, Helbram becomes used to his place among humans. He still doesn't like them, but holding back is easier and it stops nauseating him – not completely, of course, but enough.

Soon, Hendrickson makes him a Cardinal, his direct assistant. Helbram never cared about power, it's a disgusting human thing, but he has to admit that having subordinates who do everything he says is fun. They obey him and never question him, without knowing how much human blood stains his hands. He hates them even more for that because they remind him constantly how stupid he had been; it's so odd to think that once he admired them and passed his time studying them. How pathetic, he always thinks, a bitter taste in his mouth. If only he had known.

* * *

The dreams start to visit him soon after his resurrection. Maybe it's wrong to call them dreams since Helbram knows perfectly that they are memories, but they often visit him during the night, when he is not too busy with his tasks and he sleeps or tries to – apparently, being a dead body resurrected by magic doesn't mean he can avoid sleep. Most of them are happy, memories of his life in the Fairy King's Forest before everything went wrong. He dreams of playing with his friends, of laughing and relaxing under the Sacred Tree, of arguing and joking with Elaine, and above all, he dreams about Harlequin – his smile, his laugh, and even his annoyance and irritation when he scolded at him, never in a hard way. Often when he wakes up he is crying and he needs a few moments curled in his bed, his face pressed against his knees, to calm down and accept again that he lost it all. But when he finally calms, he feels always stronger and more determined to revenge. The humans took away too much from him, and now they have to pay.

Meanwhile, he tries to discover something about his death. He still doesn't remember much, and when he tries he just sees fire and smoke, but then his head hurts and spins and he has to stop. However, he wants to know who killed him, even though he doesn't know exactly why. Maybe to revenge, maybe just to understand how it was possible.

Hendrickson listens to him and agrees to do some research, but he needs some information about Helbram's past. And so Helbram tells him. He talks about the years he passed killing humans and burning their villages, his eyes almost sparkling and burning with a disturbing mix of rage and joy - he sees them when he casually spots his own reflection on the glass of the window behind his master – and it's the first time that Helbram realizes that it's the same way Hendrickson's eyes shine when he talks about his plan. That thought makes him strangely uncomfortable.

"Then it was you," Hendrickson realizes with a surprised look in his eyes, "the Fairy who murdered so many humans centuries ago without any intervention from the King."

"Did you hear about it?"

"Yes, of course, although it's an old story. As far as I know, you were stopped two thousand years ago."

Helbram stares at him with round eyes, puzzled by this new information. Hendrickson said that his body has been around for quite some time, but he didn't expect to have been dead for so many years. Once, two hundred years would have been a short time for him; to Fairies, it's not so long. But Helbram has passed such a long time outside the Forest, surrounded only by humans, that now he can't stop thinking about all the years his body just laid dead, violated by humans hands. He can almost feel their fingers on his skin. It's disturbing and disgusting and the thought of it makes him want to scream.

"You did a great job, apparently. You were almost responsible for a war between humans and Fairies," Hendrickson continues.

"What?" This is new. Did he really almost started a war? He didn't even know, he never thought about the fact that his action would have affected the Forest and for a moment he feels the guilt and the remorse clawing his heart. He has never wanted to harm his people. "What happened? What stopped me?"

"I ... I am not sure about it," Hendrickson answers slowly, studying him whit a strange look. "Anyway, I'll do some research. I'll talk to you as soon as I'll find something."

They don't talk about this for a long time.

* * *

The first time Helbram is told about the Seven Deadly Sins, it's Hendrickson who informs him, although it's not the first time he hears someone mentioning them. He looks bored at the wanted posters laying on the table in front of him, rapidly skimming them, then he looks at Hendrickson and raises a brow. "So?"

Hendrickson shrugs, but his eyes are fixed on him, staring attentively. "They are a problem. For now, I want you to focus on your task, but in case they show up again we'll have to do something about them."

"Why should they come back? They are wanted and everyone knows what they did," Helbram smirks and winks, "I mean, everyone thinks to know what they did." The fact that Hendrickson and Dreyfus were able to kill the previous Great Holy Knight and then blame the Sins without any doubt from the other Knights really amuses Helbram. It's another evidence that humans are just dumb, ready to believe in the first thing they are said.

Hendrickson sighs, rolling his eyes. "That's not a reason to lower our guard. Besides, I've my reasons to suspect that the Dragon Sin of Wrath owns a piece of the Coffin of Eternal Darkness. One day we will have to find him anyway."

"The Dragon Sin, hum?" Helbram raises the wanted poster, looking at the young man on the paper. "Alright, I'll keep an eye out, but let me say that this dude looks like an idiot."

Another heavy sigh. "Good. However, you should know that now the Grizzly Sin of Sloth ... collaborates with us. Secretly, of course, not many people are aware of this and I want that it stays that way."

"Really?" Helbram glances at the other poster, the one with the fat, middle-aged man. "Why should he do that?"

"Apparently, he has unfinished business with another Sin. It's not important until he doesn't betray us."

When Helbram raises his eyes, he notices that Hendrickson is still looking at him, as he is expecting some kind of reaction from him. That makes him slightly uncomfortable, and he doesn't like this. "Is that all?"

"Yes, I think so. Just, I don't want you to approach the Grizzly Sin. He rarely comes to Liones, but I want you to be careful anyway."

"Why?"

"He's a Fairy"

For a moment, it's like the world around them stops. Helbram's breath gets stuck in his throat and he actually needs a few moments to speak. "What?" He looks again at the poster, observing more closely the man. He doesn't seem a Fairy, but he could have changed using his magic, exactly like Helbram does. "You said that the Forest burnt. You said that there were no survivors!"

"There weren't. The Sin of Sloth – he's called King – was in prison when the Forest has been attacked, so he survived." Hendrickson falls silent for a moment and looks at Helbram with a cold, hard stare. "I don't want him to know that you work for me. The fact that you are a Fairy should remain a secret, for now. So, I would prefer you two not to meet."

Helbram's eyes narrow, but he can't really complain about that. Besides, he doesn't really care. It has been so many years since he left the Forest, so it's likely that he doesn't even know this Fairy. Meeting him, after all this time he passed alone, wouldn't change anything. He is still an outcast, a broken soul seeking revenge. And no one can change that.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

It's been almost two years since his resurrection when Helbram starts to dream about it. At first, he doesn't pay much attention to that particular dream because as sometimes happens it begins with death and blood, and he is standing there, surrounded by corpses and fire. When he glances at the bodies he immediately notices that they are humans and when he looks at his sword, it is red and sticky with their blood. He shrugs, grateful because maybe this night he will not be haunted by what he loved and lost.

He is looking around, trying to remember this particular village – but there has been so many that they blur together in his mind – when he sees him. He is kneeling down next to a body, lifting it as to make sure that it's dead, and from where he is Helbram can only see his back. But to him, it's enough. He can't forget those clothes, he can't forget his shape. Harlequin.

But that's impossible, right? He's sure he is not dreaming about the day his friend died, the place is different and he is still in Aldrich's form. He can't remember this happening. Maybe this is a dream and not a memory? Still unsure, he takes a step towards the other Fairy but he probably makes some kind of noise since the other tenses and rapidly turns towards him. Helbram looks at him astonished. He is Harlequin, it is really him, and now he is looking at him shocked. When he speaks, he is cautious and his eyes are full of suspicion –Harlequin has never looked at him like that, not even when he suspected that Helbram was planning some kind of prank. "How are you still alive?"

For a moment, Helbram can't answer and he just stares at him. When he finally manages to open his mouth to speak, the world around him starts spinning and his vision blurs and he feels a sharp pain in his chest, exactly where his heart is, and then-

He wakes up gasping for air, his fingers clawing the sheets and his heart beating fast. He breathes heavily and looks around, but the village on fire has disappeared, replaced by the bricks wall of his chamber in Liones' palace.

It was just a dream. It was just a dream, right? Except that every dream he had in the last year was a memory, something he remembers living. And it was so real, he still feels the heat of the fire on his skin and the weight of the sword in his hands.

But it's impossible. Harlequin is dead, he knows that, he saw him falling from a cliff, he saw the blood spatter in the air and he has never found his body. There is no way that he met him in a burning village, there is not-

His head hurts and he closes his eyes, trying to breathe, to calm, to do anything that can stop this stabbing pain.

He stays like this for hours, until the sun starts illuminating the room, focusing on his own breath. It was a dream, that's all, he finally decides. His first real dream. He'll soon forget about it.

Except that he can't forget, because the dream comes back the following nights, and he is always in the same village and he always sees Harlequin kneeling on the ground, looking at him with those wide, shocked eyes. And then he starts seeing it during the day as well, at first only sometimes, when he closes his eyes, and then more and more often, until it becomes almost impossible for him to focus on anything else. Helbram does his best to hide this from Hendrickson, trying to figure out alone what is happening to him – he doesn't want to ask his help, not if he can avoid that. Maybe there is something wrong with the spell that brought him back to life? Or the only thing wrong is his own mind, and he is finally going crazy?

* * *

It is the rose that makes him remember everything.

The garden of the palace is a quiet, solitary place, where he can retire when he has no task to perform, since other people rarely come here. The only ones he sees are the Princesses, but they never stay too much. Besides, they don't speak to him – just once the little one, Princess Elizabeth, approached him with a shy, soft smile, asking him who he was, but Princess Veronica immediately grabbed her and dragged her away, not before glaring at him as he was the worst kind of criminal. To her, he probably is the worst kind of criminal, but she doesn't even know how much she is right. Not that Helbram cares about what she thinks, even though he finds pretty funny that the only human who seems to realize how dangerous he is it's a little girl.

It's a beautiful, sunny day, the air is warm and pleasant on his skin, but Helbram's mind is a mess when he finally enters the garden, blinking a few times to get used to the sunlight. He should be working now, searching for the next fragment of the Coffin of Eternal Darkness, but he can't because he just saw it again – that dream, that _nightmare_, more vivid than every other time, and he just can't focus on something else. Maybe, he thinks, the sight of the trees and the blooming plants that adorn the garden will make him relax a bit.

It's as he sits on one of the stone benches that are built between the trees that he looks up and sees the roses. He already saw them multiple times, he is sure about it, there is plenty of them in the garden, but today there is something different, something that pulls into his chest when he lays his eyes on the flowers, like it is fighting for getting out.

And then it does, abruptly, and it's different from the other times. The fragments he sees are no more shatters of a dream, but memories, memories he remembers happening to him.

He sees his best friend recognizing him, surprise to find him alive, and he feels his own incredulity and shock because he has passed centuries thinking that Harlequin was dead and now he was right in front of him. He remembers feeling so puzzled at first and then calming abruptly, because it was all too strange and unexpected and he was still trying to process that his best friend was here, alive and healthy. He remembers explaining coldly to him what he had done in the past centuries, his will to make him understand the sorrow and the rage he had borne until that moment.

And then Harlequin was crying and Helbram was bleeding, the metallic taste of his own blood in his mouth and the hot, sticky liquid on his fingers. It was almost painless, to die, and it happened in a moment, so fast that he had barely realized that he had been killed by his best friend. For a moment it was peaceful and he was so relieved to cease hearing the screams and the rips.

But not now.

Helbram falls on his knees, his head in his hands, his eyes wide open and full of tears. His best friend killed him. Harlequin killed him, without a thought. For one moment, Helbram wonders why he did it, how he could do such a thing to him. But soon it's clear. Harlequin didn't understand him, he didn't understand his torment and torture, he didn't understand his rage. And how could he? He wasn't here, held captive in a tiny cage, forced to watch his friend dying because of him. He didn't hear their screams and the sound of their wings being ripped. What Harlequin had seen looking at him was a murderer, an insane and uncontrolled person, and he had decided to end his life.

But that makes no sense. He was Harlequin's best friend, they had passed centuries together. How could he just kill him, without even a word? And for what? For humans? Since when Harlequin cared about them?

Helbram shakes his head, trying desperately to understand, to make sense of all what had happened. But he can't. So he remains like this, laying amongst the plants, and even when he feels his own magic canceling, turning him back to his original form, he doesn't move. He doesn't care if someone sees him like this. He doesn't care about anything anymore.

When Hendrickson goes looking for him, probably annoyed by the fact that he is not in the library doing what he should, he found Helbram still curled on the ground, in his true form, his eyes red and still wet. Helbram hears his steps stopping next to him, but he doesn't even raise his head.

For a moment, Hendrickson doesn't speak, probably studying him and trying to understand why his Cardinal is laying in tears in the middle of the garden.

"... what's happening, Helbram?" He finally says, his voice slightly irritated. "You should be working. And you know you can't stay like this! Did someone saw you?"

Helbram considers not to answer and just stay like that, crying all his tears. But he feels the need to tell him, to say those words out loud, and so he raises his head. "He killed me." His voice is raspy and trembling, but he has to continue. "My best friend. He killed me."

Hendrickson's eyes widen and he raises a brow before asking, "So, you remember your death?"

"I do." Helbram falls silent, but only for a few seconds, because there are other things he wants to say. It's not easy to find the words, though. "He barely spoke to me, he just ... did it. Why? Why did he act like this? I was his best friend!" He glances at Hendrickson, foolishly hoping that he will have the answer, that he will finally give a meaning to all of this, a meaning that will make return Helbram's world exactly like it was before.

But Hendrickson just stares at him, his mouth set in a hard line, imperturbable as usual. So Helbram looks away, shaking his head. "What's the meaning of all I have done? All I did, it was for him, to revenge him and my friends. And he killed me for that. He killed me." He has no more tears, he just feels empty and tired. When he speaks again, his voice is almost a whisper. "Kill me, Hendrickson. I don't want to continue like this anymore."

"Why do you say that?" Hendrickson's voice sounds ... strange, although he seems calm as usual, but Helbram wouldn't be able to explain why, not at this moment.

Helbram hates him, hates his calm and his control and the lack of emotion when he feels so devastated and in pain. He turns towards him abruptly, glaring at him. "You didn't hear me?" He hisses, "It's all senseless, all my life was senseless!"

"No, it wasn't."

"How can you say that? After everything I've done, Harlequin killed-"

"Yes, I get it. Your friend killed you, without even respecting what you have done for him. But let's be honest, you didn't do it entirely for him or for your other friends." Hendrickson stoops and looks right into Helbram's eyes, his stare hard and cold; there is no compassion in his eyes. "You did it for yourself, Helbram. You told me so. You did it to stop feeling guilty for something you had caused. You did it to bury your own pain, not to alleviate the suffering of your dead friends."

Helbram is frozen in his place, his eyes fixed on Hendrickson's. He can't look away, he can't move. The man's words are stuck in his mind, hunting him and tormenting him. Is that true? He suddenly realizes that maybe it is.

Helbram started killing for revenge, he is sure about it, but then there were those sounds and those screams tormenting him and killing humans made them stop, although only for a while. It made him feel better, and so he had continued and continued until exterminating them became natural as breathing. He had continued, Helbram realizes, not because he wanted to – although he had wanted to make the humans pay for what they had done – but because he had to. He wasn't able to stop, he needed it.

"Besides," Hendrickson continues, standing again, "I suppose you'll want to take revenge on your ... friend, since he killed you."

That makes Helbram jerk. "What? What are you talking about?" Take revenge towards Harlequin? That's no sense! It had been two hundred years, and Hendrickson said that the Fairy King's Forest was destroyed and so were the Fairies. If Harlequin was alive, he was surely in the Forest, with Elaine and the others of their kind, and therefore he died there – he died, then, he really died, and although Helbram has just discovered that he was still alive after the fight with Aldrich, it hurts him to know that he was destroyed with the Forest. He can't help.

Hendrickson presses his lips together and joints his hands behind his back before answering. "I could have ... located your old friend. He's still alive, of course," he adds when he sees Helbram's incredulous glare.

"W-what? When did you ...?" Helbram shakes his head, trying to understand, but then he remembers. Hendrickson wanted to help him discover what had happened to him. He has never told anything after their first talk, and Helbram had thought it was because he hadn't found anything. Apparently, he was wrong.

"After killing you, he was taken to trial and sentenced to 1000 years of reclusion," Hendrickson explains slowly. "Being the Fairy King, he took the responsibility to let you kill so many humans without intervening. Then, some years ago, he joined the Seven Deadly Sins."

"But he wasn't there! None of them was-"

"He disguised himself, of course, just like you do."

That makes sense, Helbram thinks, and at the same time, like all of the other things Hendrickson is saying, it makes no sense at all. It's just too difficult to handle this new information when just a few hours ago he was resigned to Harlequin's death. "Which one?" He asks finally.

"The Grizzly Sin of Sloth," Hendrickson answers, calmly.

The picture of the fat, old man appears in Helbram's mind in a second. He was so different from his best friend, so more human, that he would have never noticed that they were the same person. Then, another information comes to his mind and he glares at Hendrickson, clenching his fists so tight that he feels his nails scratching his own skin and the blood wetting his fingers. He doesn't care. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you would have taken this the wrong way. You would have wanted to meet him, to speak with him, and I don't want you to do that. No, King can still be useful to us and I don't want to let him know that I'm using his dead friend to my own purposes. Besides, you didn't even remember your death. You didn't need to know."

"How … how dare you?" Helbram is out of breath, and with surprise, he realizes that he is angry, furious, and he would like so much to kill Hendrickson right now. The only problem is, he can't harm him. Despite his hate, Hendrickson is still his Master. And so he stays still, anger burning in his chest and in his eyes. "How dare you not to tell me that?! If I'd known, I-"

"You what?" Hendrickson interrupts him, tilting his head, a mocking grin on his lips. "If you had known, you would have met him? Talked to him? And for what?"

Helbram grits his teeth and opens his mouth to answer, but he can't. He suddenly realizes that he doesn't know what he would have done. He doesn't even know what he wants to do now. Meet Harlequin? Speak to him? But how? How he is supposed to face him after what happened?

He lowers his head, passing his fingers through his hair, trying to think, but it's so difficult to focus right now.

He hears Hendrickson sighing, as he has to deal with some stubborn kid who is throwing a tantrum. "Helbram, remember that I'm your master. You will obey my orders, no matter what you want. But since you have served me well until now, I can give you this. If the Sin of Sloth will betray us, and I believe he will, he will be yours. I don't care if you want to talk with him or to kill him, the only thing I need is that he doesn't interfere with my plans."

Helbram looks at him with wide eyes, trying to process his offering, but he doesn't answer. It's still difficult to think clearly.

Hendrickson probably understands that, because he sighs again. "I should have known that this would have upset you in such a way. For today, you can have some times to think about it, but tomorrow you will return to your task, willing or not. And now, return to your human form. I really hope no one saw you like this."

Helbram doesn't know exactly how he got to his room, but after some time – minutes, hours, he doesn't know and doesn't care – he is laying on his bed, in his original form again. Even though he is tired, he can't sleep. His mind doesn't stop thinking about Harlequin and Hendrickson and everything. At first, his thoughts are confused and difficult to follow, but then, while hours pass and day is replaced by night, he manages to calm himself and to think more clearly. It's not easy. But he has to.

Helbram knows that he doesn't want to kill Harlequin. He could never do such a thing. Even though he killed him, he is still his best friend. But that doesn't mean he is not angry with him, that he doesn't want to yell at him, making him see how he hurt him.

But how to do that? How to make him really understand what Helbram passed? Harlequin can't imagine it. He has never seen his friends dying right in front of him, knowing to be responsible for that, he has never heard the screams of his beloved without being able to do anything to help them.

It's then that he has the idea. Helbram widens his eyes and holds his breath; that … that could work. He doesn't know what Harlequin did in the last few centuries, but he can suppose he will have someone he cares about. Maybe a friend, or more that one. And surely, comrades. Like the other members of the Seven Deadly Sins. Maybe they are not his friend – even now Helbram can't really picture Harlequin fraternizing with a bunch of criminals – but they have probably some type of connection.

And since Helbram can't hurt Harlequin, not physically, he can hurt them, kill them, tear them apart, right in front of Harlequin if it's possible.

Because maybe if Harlequin knows how it feels, he will finally understand and he will apologize for killing him like this. Helbram smirks at the thought, thinking that maybe he won't forgive his best friend immediately – he doesn't deserve it, he has to understand how Helbram has suffered. But he knows he will. He can't stay mad at Harlequin forever. And then, they'll be able to be best friend again. Harlequin probably won't be pleased by Hendrickson's plan, but Helbram thinks he could be able to convince him, to let him see that the humans deserve it. He will explain to him that all of this – the fact that Helbram started killing in the first place, hunted by his rage and remorse, and the fact that Harlequin had killed him – all of this, it's the humans' fault. They were the first to attack them for their foolish, disgusting desires, they were the ones who killed their friends and who lead Helbram to insanity. Harlequin will see this and he will understand that they have to die. Maybe he will even help them.

Yes, Helbram thinks, and finally falls asleep, a smile on his lips. He will wait until the right opportunity ...

But in the end, he will have his best friend back.

* * *

Between all the Holy Knight he had to deal in the last few years, it turns out that Guila is the one that bothers him the less.

The first time he meets her, in the court of the palace, he doesn't even look at her twice; he has no interest in that little human girl holding her father's hand and looking around with curiosity.

He knows her father, though, a weak Holy Knight who foolishly decide to put his life in Hendrickson's hands. Helbram is not sure about what exactly Hendrickson was trying to do that time, but it didn't work, not even a bit. But he doesn't particularly care about Dale, and when he disappears – no one knows exactly how – the only thing that bothers him is that now he would have to find him. Hendrickson doesn't want someone to casually find him and understand what happened to him, and so he wants the ex-Knight dead. Helbram rolls his eyes when he hears that, but as always he can only obey and start looking for Dale, but that turns out to be an incredibly difficult task.

He meets Guila a few years later, now a young adult training to become a Holy Knight, but still, he doesn't pay attention to her until she approaches Hendrickson. A few weeks later, she is a member of the New Generation and one of the strongest Knight in the Kingdom. And, apparently, his apprentice, since Hendrickson wants him to train her; it seems that Guila has really drawn his attention, and he doesn't want someone less trusted than Helbram to take care of her.

At first, Helbram is less than thrilled at the idea of passing all that time with a human, but soon he realizes that it could have been far worse. Guila is young, and yet she is capable and serious and ready to follow his orders, and she seems also to be pretty smart, for a human. Not really smart, since she willingly decided to drink the Demon's Blood, making herself another slave in Hendrickson's army, but she sometimes asks intelligent questions and she learns fast.

Of course, it's not like he likes her. She is still a human, after all, and she is selfish and greedy and ruthless as all the humans are. But she is an excellent instrument.

It's because she is one of the strongest Knights of the New Generation that Hendrickson decides to send her against the Seven Deadly Sins – as he had predicted, they are gathering again – with the order to kill them. Harlequin will be there, Helbram knows that and he has to fight the urge to run there to see him again – and maybe finally put his plan in motion. For now, the Sin of Sloth is still an ally of the Kingdom, and Hendrickson still wants to take advantage of it.

Still, Helbram is not surprised when Hendrickson sends him looking after Guila since she didn't come back whereas the Sins did. He is surprised to find her alive, tied to a tree and with her face scribbled, and he is surprised when he realizes that this actually relieves him. Finding other Knights like Guila would have been difficult, he says to himself. This is the only reason.

But that's nothing compared with the thrill that he feels when Guila tells him that King – Harlequin – has betrayed them, that he reunited with his comrades.

When he reports this to Hendrickson, Helbram is ginning and his eyes are shining. Because finally, his time has come.

Soon, he will finally meet Harlequin again.

* * *

_**A/N**_: And this is the end! I did it!  
So, although I passed all those chapters basically torturing him, I really like Helbram, I swear. He is a complex and tragic character, and I really enjoyed trying to explore his feelings and motivations, and I hope I didn't make a mess.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who favorited, followed and commented this (I've really appreciated that), and also to everyone who just read it!


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